psEud0 reLat!0nsh!p (^*^,)

The "Pseudo Relationship"

It is the "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.
Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."
Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.
So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.
Ang habol naman ng iba sa ganitong relationship ay iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw mo, iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti ka na dahil alam mong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.
Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

Someone used to be in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, then they say, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya… almost, but not quite.

You want sample, here are some:

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

see... medyo magulo if you engage in this relationship, daming consequences... yung nga lang , you know you are really enjoying! kaya it would be better to formalize things... or its just as simple as"WAG NANG I-DENY... OBVIOUS NAMAN E!"... it won't hurt to say the truth... really! you're friends are just around... kaya if ever dehado ka sa ganitong relationship, baka hindi ka nila maipagtanggol kasi this is your choice and in this relationship, oftentimes the consequences are hard to face... really! :D

mUsHy LoVe LeTTeR ;¤

1----"The great love that I have for you

2---- is gone, and I find my dislike for you

3---- grows every day. When I see you,

4---- I do not even like your face;

5---- the one thing that I want to do is to

6---- look at other girls. I never wanted to

7---- marry you. Our last conversation

8---- was very boring and has not

9---- made me look forward to seeing you again.

10--- You think only of yourself.

11--- If we were married, I know that I would find

12--- life very difficult, and I would have no

13--- pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

14--- to give, but it is not something that

15--- I want to give to you. No one is more

16--- foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

17--- able to care for me and help me.

18--- I sincerely want you to understand that

19--- I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

20--- if you think this is the end. Do not try

21--- to answer this. Your letters are full of

22--- things that do not interest me. You have no

23--- true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,

24--- I do not care for you. Please do not think that

25--- I am still your girlfriend.





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wh00ps... wa!t...


hErE's d' cAtCh: "READ BETWEEN THE LINES"


Meaning --- only to read


1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd Numbers)


g0t !t? ... MuShY !sn'T !t????!!!


i wUv oo ;¤

k!ndA "mUsHy" :D

1. DEFINE LOVE
> Dictionary defines LOVE as "a strong liking for someone or something; a passionate
affection for another person; the object of such affection".... though it has been defined,
each of us has our own definition for LOVE, mostly we say it was a mystery......
yep! it really is a mystery! there are a lots of kinds of LOVE but often times when we
talk about it, what comes first in our minds is a Love Affair of the opposite sex, a feeling
that can only be defined once we felt that we really LOVE that person. For me, LOVE is
accepting the person for who and what he is... despite everything, LOVE will make you
understand what your heart really says. When we fall in LOVE, it is important that we
consider that we must LOVE with our brains on top (60% decision will be from our mind,
while 40% was from our heart)... for me, LOVE is not just what you feel or what your
heart says, its also in our mind. I myself cannot clearly define LOVE, but all I know is
that LOVE is a perfect recipe whose ingredients are understanding, acceptance,
and most of all "trust"!

2. DO YOU BELIEVE IN "DESTINY"?
> Yup, somehow... but not much! It is because we make our own destiny! Remember
that we decide for our own lives, even if we say that we are destined to love a certain
person, it will also depend on how we handle that relationship to work... for us to know
if that person is really "The One" meant for us!

3. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, "TO LOVE" OR "TO BE LOVED"?
> Both! It is because that we must feel that we are loved for us to love back... and vice
versa! It was really a wierd feeling to love, but it is more "kilig" if we are loved... it is
also on how our parents loved us... it will be easy to love a person if we first love
ourselves.... Learn it... and you'll LOVE it!!! :)

4. DO YOU THINK "SECOND CHANCE" STILL WORKS?
> ummmm, it depends!.... but it is important on giving "Second Chances" a space in
our hearts....

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SAYING THAT "FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES"?
> Yah! I do! (no second thoughts on this answer... haha) :D

6. HAVE YOU BEEN "IN LOVE"?
> Yes... and I am still up to now! (and I love how it feels to be in love... really!!!)

7. WHICH IS HARDER DO YOU THINK, "LETTING GO" OR "MOVING ON"?
> I think both! You won't be able to move on if you don't let go of your feelings or
memories of that person.... right? So I think, this two goes hand in hand... :)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE SWEETEST THING A GUY OR A GIRL CAN DO TO HIS WOMAN
OR TO HER MAN?
> For me... it's not just simply the flowers or a glamorous surprise candle light dinner
date (yah.. okay.. that is so sweet) but it sweeter if he'll introduce you to his family
esp. to his parents as his "girlfriend"... it is because for me, it symbolizes that he
was happy and proud to have you as his girl, and that it is also important to have a
blessing from your parents... they give some advices that your friends don't, right?

9. ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR HIM / HER?
> Yes, of course! Why not, if I really love that person.. di ba? :)

10. WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT "PRE-MARITAL SEX"?
> Dang! This question has a broad answer.... For me, its simple.... Sex is not the reason
for us to enter in a relationship or this is not the only reason of marriage... Sex can be
just pleasure, or it can be a source of income! It can be just an urge that one can do
with anyone! But Love, Responsibility, Trust, and Sex.... all of these goes hand in hand.
Isn't it just simple.... only some people makes it complicated.... nah!!! :P

a Sp!eL 2 rEmEmbEr... (a call center act)

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I'vedecided to install Love. Can you guide me thoughthe process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I thinkI'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several otherprograms running now. Is it okay to install Lovewhile they are
running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now

Tech Support: No problem, Love will graduallyerase Past Hurt from your current operatingsystem. It may
remain in your permanent memorybut it will no longer disrupt other programs. Lovewill eventually override Low Self-Esteem with amodule of its own called High Self-Esteem.However, you have to completely turn off Grudgeand Resentment. Those programs prevent Lovefrom being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as manytimes as necessary until Grudge and Resentmenthave been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installingitself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to beginconnecting to other
Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.It says, "Error - Program not run on externalcomponents ."
What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Loveprogram is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet
been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; thenclick on the following files: Forgive-Self; RealizeYour Worth;
and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart"directory. The system will overwrite any conflictingfiles and
begin patching faulty programming. Also,you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from alldirectories and empty
your Recycle Bin to makesure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up withnew files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves allover My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takesawhile, but eventually everything gets it at theproper time. So Love
is installed and running. Onemore thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware.Be sure to give it and its various modules toeveryone you meet. They will in turn share it withothers and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

f!Ve yEaRs ;¤

So, my Cuddlie & I are celebrating our 5th year anniversary on april 12, 2005.... geesh.... it's been so long yet time flies too fast, that a lot of things happened! We never knew we'll come this way long knowing that it was both our first time to enter a relationship.... "immature" they say at first... some people never believed that we can juggle our time between studies, our family, and our relationship. Of course, it was not easy at first... too much adjustments, acceptance, understanding... and a whole buncha' recipe to have a healthy relationship. I'm very lucky... asking me why? Because having someone so loyal to you and always makes you feel that you're special is not always a scenario for other relationships right?! I guess its in a case to case basis... but I'm still very lucky. Give and take can be the word, but don't expect to have something in return.... rough road, steep hills, stormy nights... in all these bad weathers in a relationship, it is very important that you both walk together and face the fact that not all relationships have smooth road to take.... as it says "it takes two to tango"... "Trust" your partner... love him for what and who he is.... make him feel that he is needed because you love him. Being together everyday is not an excuse for the word "magkasawaan"... nah! It's not that.... its just a preparation for your life together.... I can still remember during our first week together... we decided not to tell our parents about our relationship. It's not that we are not ready to face the consequences and our responsibilities, but since it was our first.... we don't want our parents to think that once we failed (maybe on our studies or the like), this relationship is not the reason! Good thing we both graduated with flying colors (not too high to fly, hehehe!) proving to them that we can make it together. Having accomplishments together makes the bonding closer and stronger. It's not on how long you've been together, but it's on how strong you've been and how much you showed your love to each other despite of everything... including our shortcomings.... Im happy coz a lot of people are happy for both of us... that growing together emotionally, physically, mentally.... and sharing a life to each other has been almost perfect.... I know that we still have a lot of years to share together.... I'm sure of that! Maybe you'll ask me why... it is because having God in the center of our life and relationship that strengthens our faith together is not a usual "ingredient" in all relationships nowadays.... We are happy... yes we really are! We also enjoy each others company..... maybe for others it's not that easy to understand... insisting the reason that we must give space to each other, explore ourselves more, find other people and enjoy their company...... NAH! no time for that! We are building a strong foundation together.... we must TRUST each other.... be open.... be honest.... be as understanding and patient as you can be.... I may not be in a perfect relationship.... but I am really happy and greatful to have a Niño Ronald Dalusung Pacheco in my life... no one can replace him.... NO ONE EVER! I LOVE YOU CUDDLIE ;¤ i wuv oo ;¤ mmmmmmmmmmmmwah ;¤ Happy 5th Year Anniversary! mwah ;¤